


What Would Camilla Say?

by notbloodylikely



Category: British Royal Family, British Royalty RPF, The Crown (TV)
Genre: 1970s, Anne/Tim will return shortly, F/M, I don't ship it, Love Triangles, Messy, or rather quadrangles
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-23
Updated: 2020-05-23
Packaged: 2021-03-02 23:08:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,466
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24341080
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/notbloodylikely/pseuds/notbloodylikely
Summary: This is what happens when you binge The Crown again during lockdown. Inspired by S3:E8 ‘Dangling Man’, and set in the early 1970s when they allegedly had a thing.
Relationships: Andrew Parker Bowles/Camilla Shand, Princess Anne/Andrew Parker Bowles
Comments: 2
Kudos: 8





	What Would Camilla Say?

Andrew Parker Bowles sipped his Scotch, his usually roving eye firmly fixed on a certain princess across the crowded dancefloor of Annabel’s nightclub in Mayfair. With her long, blonde hair falling around her shoulders, her tight blouse accentuating her tiny waist and her trousers clinging to her hips and those long, shapely legs, rock hard from hours of riding, she looked absolutely delicious. They had been seeing one another for quite a number of weeks now, if you could call it that, and Andrew couldn’t hide his grin as he watched her surrounded by three young men presumably chatting her up, each looking more eager than the other two when she directed her attention towards them. _Little boys_ , he thought to himself. _Don’t they know she’d eat them up for breakfast?_

Having only recently turned 20 years-of-age, Princess Anne was eleven years his junior. Usually, girls of that age bored him to tears. Pretty and lively, yes, but usually far too childish and fussy with nothing to talk about apart from pop music or what was lining the pages of fashion magazines. But she was different. Mature, highly intelligent, full of dry wit with a filthy sense of humour to match, she could kill a man at ten paces with one blow of her tongue and reduce another to a quivering wreck with just a look. It was fair to say he had never met a girl like her, and she attracted, challenged and intrigued him like no other girl had before.

Being a man of experience with a very large ego, among other things, the fact that he had the Sovereign’s daughter in his bed had given him a fairly high level of satisfaction in itself, but over the last few weeks, he’d had to face the fact that he was growing increasingly fond of her, far more than he initially thought, and found himself eager to spend time with her whenever he had the chance. So that evening, he had phoned her up and taken her to Annabel’s for dinner and dancing like he had frequently done before. What he hadn’t planned for was for three little boys to be vying for her affection simultaneously. No, that wouldn’t do at all. Finishing his scotch, he crossed the dancefloor and made his way over to her.

“Your Royal Highness?” He purred, causing the three young men to curb their chatter. “I do believe you promised me a dance after I’d finished my drink? Gentlemen, do excuse us.” Accepting defeat, they each shot him a cold glare as he lead her away. 

“I was in the middle of a conversation.”

“Yes, and I thought I’d come and rescue you.” 

“Did I look like I needed rescuing?” She protested, raising an eyebrow at him before tugging her arm out of his grip.

“Well that’s a fine thank you. Forgive me, I just felt I ought to swoop in before you died of boredom.” 

“Oh, I see. Do I detect a hint of jealousy, Andrew?” He scoffed. 

“Don’t be ridiculous. So much as a second glance from you would have them wetting their trousers with excitement.”

“I beg your pardon, but as it happens, Brian has taken me out several times before. He’s rather lovely.”

“He’s _dull_. Much too dull for you.” That done it.

“Let me make one thing perfectly clear, Andrew. Whatever is going on between us is nothing more than a bit of fun, and you would do well to remember that. Don’t _ever_ try to dictate who I can and can’t speak to again.” The fire in her eyes was unmistakable, and it never failed to drive him absolutely mad with want for her. But before he had a chance to try anything, she left him standing in the middle of the dancefloor alone and went to order a drink at the bar. _Bugger it_ , he thought.

Andrew sighed, frustration and desire warring within him. Looking around him at that moment in time, he spotted a number of ex-girlfriends that he’d had over the years, and quite a few that hadn’t quite been girlfriends but had nonetheless enjoyed his company - often at the same time as his ex-girlfriends. He was confident that if he wanted to go home with any one of them, he could have taken his pick there and then without any problem. But he had always liked a challenge. 

With his tail between his legs, he followed the princess to the bar and stood at her side. 

“Darling-“

“I am _not_ your darling.” 

“Oh come on, don’t be like that. I didn’t mean to upset you.” She shot him a cold look.

“You didn’t upset me, you fucking annoyed me.” Taking her drink, she brushed passed him again and sat at an empty booth. After ordering and downing another Scotch - he was going to need a bit of Dutch courage for this - he slipped in next to her at the booth. 

“Anne, come on, don’t be angry. I wasn’t trying to tell you who you couldn’t speak to, I just thought you ought not waste your time on boys like-“

“If I want to spend my evening in full conversation with a brick wall, it’s none of your concern.” 

“Oh, well be my guest. You’d get better conversation out of a wall than those three idiots put together.” Neither of them being the type to back down from an argument, they sat there in stony, stubborn silence for some minutes. But feeling impatient to get back in her good books, as well as her trousers, he was the first to give in. Softening his tone, he put his hand on hers on the table, tenderly brushing his thumb along it. 

“I’m sorry. Really, I am. It wasn’t my intention to get above my station and tell you what to do, but I couldn’t help myself. If you must know, I _was_ jealous.” This got her attention. She looked up from her drink to meet his gaze, a little grin playing at the corner of her mouth at seeing him grovel. 

“Whatever for?”

“Well, believe it or not _Your Royal Highness_ , I have grown rather fond of you lately. I like you very much, and so, seeing The Three bloody Stooges over there falling over themselves for you, I didn’t really want to be left all on my own for the remainder of the evening.” 

She rolled her eyes, trying and failing to repress a smile. “They’re just friends of mine, or friends of my brothers, rather. I’ve known them since I was a child. Nobody to feel threatened by, I can assure you.” Then she smirked. “Grown rather fond of me, have you?” 

“Of course I have. How could I not? You’re a very charming girl.” 

“Do go on.” 

“Oh you’re enjoying this, aren’t you?” This got her giggling, and he chose that moment to slip his arm around her waist and bring her closer to him. She didn’t object. “Let me see.. You’re, extremely intelligent. You’re very funny, you always make me laugh. You’re confident, mature, independent, you know you’re own mind.. and not to mention, you’re bloody gorgeous in every sense of the word and I’m mad about you.”

Even in the dim light, he could see her cheeks had turned pink in colour, but she still narrowed her eyes at him and tutted. “My my my, what _would_ Camilla say?” 

“Camilla can say what she likes, that’s ancient history.”

“That’s not what I heard from-” 

“It’s the truth. It’s finished. For good this time.” It wasn’t exactly the truth, and Anne didn’t exactly look convinced, but the way she was looking at him told him that he had her exactly where he wanted her. 

“Mmm, if you say so.. Now, get back to you being mad about me.” Grinning at having got his way, he leaned down and pressed his lips to hers, and immediately felt her body melting into his, her heart thumping against his chest as she kissed him back.

It was intense, so much so that he almost felt dizzy as he deepened the kiss. There was no question that she had evoked something in him that he couldn’t remember feeling for quite some time, something he was struggling to be without as of late. But he wasn’t in love with her - or so he told himself. 

When their embrace finally broke apart, he caressed her flushed face and tucked her hair behind her ear. 

“Tell you what. Why don’t we go back to my flat and I’ll tell you all about it?” 

Her response was to kiss him once more, before finishing her drink and taking him to the cloakroom to collect her coat.

Yes, the fun would continue for a little while longer. 


End file.
